So today… I’m Just gonna start. Something new… something fresh… something so totally unedited it’ll never make the best seller list… yet, it’s been churning inside, yearning to be freed, demanding that I release it from captivity.
I’ve put it off long enough… I’ve whined-n-waivered until I nearly toppled over like a weebles-when-they-wobble-but-they-don’t-fall-down. I’ve wobbled and fallen time and time again.
I’ve had this dream to be a writer in my head & in my heart for a long, long time, yet it’s never quite made it to my feet! (Thanks, my beautiful friend for that word-picture analogy!) Once upon a time in a me far-far away… I wrote. I wrote for pleasure, I wrote for publication, I wrote to be read. The story inside of my head was constantly churning, yearning, BLURTiNG OUT to get OUT, if you will.
And then I went back to school… to become a teacher. To teach 3rd graders how to release the stories that were inside their heads. I remember the day that the spider was crawling along the uppermost edge where the wall met the ceiling—and I was trying to teach MATH! Have you ever tried to teach Math while being upstaged by a tiny black spider, making his way up the wall and finally reaching the ceiling? And so, like any “with-it” teacher would do… I stopped teaching and turned around to see what on EARTH was going on that was so interesting that not a single ONE of my students were able to stay focused on MY CAREFULLY DESIGNED MATH LESSON PLAN!!
And there it was, as plain to see as a little black spider crawling up a stark white painted brick wall. This eensy-weensy spider was stealing my show!! I was instantly swept off of my feet by the very thing that would be my key to success in teaching my students to unleash the stories that were stuck in their heads but couldn’t escape.
And so we stopped what we were doing, I instructed my students to put away their math books and get out their journals. We were gonna WRiTE about the spider that stole the show during my Math lesson. They wrote play-by-play about their teacher (aka: Me!) who had jumped up on a chair to photograph the culprit in action. They wrote about their predictions of whether or not I would tumble off the chair and go crashing to the floor… they wrote about whether or not the spider would actually turn at the top of the wall when he reached the ceiling and go south and continue on around the top of the ceiling. They anticipated whether or not a little tiny black spider would have the endurance to make it all the way around… or perhaps he might throw in the towel and decide that the journey just wasn't worth it.
And that’s where I learned how to teach writing—at it’s FINEST!! That’s when I realized that “teaching writing” has so much less to do with purposefully combining conjunctions, nouns, verbs, adjective run-on-sentences, capitalization and periods in such a way that it makes perfect sense to the reader while creating less editing work for the teacher . (See! Did anybody even notice that I just wrote a run-on-sentence about a run-on sentence?) You see, the craft of writing has so much more to do with INSPiRATiON & MOTiVATion and painting a picture with words so that the reader can visually imagine every single thing that the author is trying to convey. The craft of writing entails a gifted writer who creates mental word imagery with the message of your heart.
A Creative Wordsmyth (which I just on-purpose spelled incorrectly, according to my spellchyeckker… simply because I can! I mean… truly! Doesn’t the word- Wordsmyth look a lot more “sophysticated” than Wordsmith?) Anyway, the Wordsmyth use the paper as a canvas…the pencil (or, in this case, the keyboard strokes) as their brush, and the words, dabbled-together like red-n-blue make purple as the color that brightens the textual images on the page as they flow out in keystrokes.
So, this brings me to the point of this not-particularly-five-sentence per paragraph piece of writing that I’ve chosen to create today, on my Last- last day of Easter break before I break for GOOD from my teaching job! =)
All the rules about writing… all the things written about writing… all the encouraging emails I’ve received about writing… all the awards that are sitting in a portfolio somewhere, that verify that I truly have a gift as a writing craftswoman… have not been able to motivate me to drop all the “guidelines” and grid-lines and by-lines, and captions under my credentials that somehow arbitrarily give me “written permission” to say with certainty:
- I am a Christian life Author of a weekly column of motherhood, Christian perspective, and transparency from a parent’s perspective.
- I am an award winning Author. Who crafted, from my own interviews, filtered through my own compassionate heart a Nebraska Press Association’s Best of the Press newspaper series titled, “Taking Aim at Peace”, a story from the front lines of Nebraska National Guardsmen on a peacekeeping mission to Macedonia.
- I am an Author of a kid-tested-teacher-approved 13-week Breakfast Cereal that I was commissioned to write for area 4th and 5th graders as a newspapers in the schools project.
I am an Author—of several books in Que that are still backed in the hard-drive of my heart, but not forgotten:
· At the CrossRoads of Grief and Grace
· While Waiting for a Miracle Apron Strings from the Heart
· Sundays at Granny Nell’s
There… I said it! =)
I. Am. An. Author.
Affirmations that need to be spoken, so as to release the clasp on the lock of my backed up hard-drive of my heart are this:
1) There is a story inside my heart that demands it be told.
2) People continue to affirm that I have a gift—a story that must be written—and soon!
3) I am the verge of something so exciting, I can’t contain it.
4) Stepping out in faith, and pursuing my dream of not “becoming an author” but, “unleashing my inner Author” is an absolute MUST in order that this dream might be revealed in the form of published work. Preferably in book form.
5) I have taken a gigantic leap of faith and resigned from my teaching position so that I might be able to actively and aggressively pursue my passion for writing.
5) I have taken a gigantic leap of faith and resigned from my teaching position so that I might be able to actively and aggressively pursue my passion for writing.
5) I am also an artist~ only... that's a whole 'nother story for another blog post.
6) Deep down inside of me, there's a crazy Creative Life's Moments photographer dying to get out!
There... I said it. There are gifts locked inside of me that I've hidden not only from myself, but from the world. Since I didn't want to take the risk of not meeting up to the world's expectations of what a writer... or an artist... or a photographer might look like.
In order to write a book, first, the book must be written! The pages must be filled with content that contains the story that is begging to be let go of. There is work that must be accomplished. On order to achieve Big Dreams much is required of the storyteller: great passion, true commitment, stick-to-it-ness, vulnerability to tell the story as God commands it-- not what's common to man, and transparency. To tell the truth~ in Love. To speak the truth from God's word as it connects to our every day struggles as Christian women and Godly wives. To pray for and with other gifted Christian women, who, like you desire to serve God with their whole heart. To speak truth, to develop their own unique gifts and talents into pleasing offerings to the Great God of the Universe who gifted us with those passions. To desire a greater purpose in our passions.
In order to photograph life's moments, a camera must be taken out... and used. Mistakes made, images revealed through God's lens.
I have a beautiful friend who's a gifted singer, songwriter, and pianist. She is a performing artist who uses notes on a staff and words in stanza's and vocal inflections and her breath as the fire that fuels the beautiful sound that passes from her inside out. She, too, carries this "sound barrier" when it comes to letting the song emerge, just as God plans it to be. We don't wanna sound too... too... spiritually self-centered, by sharing too much of the good thing that God has given to us.
We're Restless...
We find ourselves scribbling when we should be painting, or mumbling when we should be singing, or creating excuses when we should be composing, or capturing images of God's beautiful creation, or writing our stories... or sharing the Gospel from wherever it originates deep inside our restless hearts.
We insecurely fear inside our Restless hearts that others will mutter out of the sides of their cheek to another that this "gift" that we claim to have been called to share is somehow self-serving... selfishly motivated... externally displayed for something other than what it truly is.
It. Is. Of. God.
These gifts...
These passions...
These spiritual "fruits" that have grown out of our lives, from many seasons of pruning in our spiritual lives... must be bitten into.
Reminds me of the song:
“A bell is not a bell till you ring it. A song is not a song till you sing it. Love in your heart isn’t put there to stay. Love isn’t love till you give it away.”
~Oscar Hammerstein II
And so... so what? So what if we choose to let these passion-fruits rot inside our yearning hearts? So what if we never share the God-given gifts that God gave, without reservation or expectation other than that when the season is right for those fruits to be harvested, that we seize the day and pluck those ripe-red fruits, those juicy, plump, right-for-the pickens and take a bite!
"Taste and see that the Lord is Good! Open your mouth and taste-- open your eyes and see How. Good. God. Is!"
~Psalm 34:8 *the Message
So what if we write run-on-sentences connected to run-on-paragraphs that neither "flow" or have "connectivity" according to our preconceived notions of how a personal narrative is to be written correctly.
So what if we just spilled it all out, like the woman with the Alabaster jar, spilling all that she had on the feet of her Savior?
So what if we just spilled it all out, like the woman with the Alabaster jar, spilling all that she had on the feet of her Savior?
So what if we don't proofread our blog-post before we press "Publish"?
so what if we write music that doesn't fit the grad-class professor's notion of how a musical composition should flow?
So what if we speak truth into the lives of those around us whose reckless lives are out of control and seemingly headed for a head-on collision and they walk away? But you, Lord... promise in your word that you will never walk away. Especially when we're restless, like a 2-year-old who fights tooth-n-nail to take their much needed Nap!
So what if we truly were willing to let go of our tightly clenched fists, grasping that which we perceived to be God's plan-- and trusted God to reveal a new plan... a new purpose... leading us down a new, uncharted path that God promises would lead us to blessings so humongous we can't contain them?
Check-this-out>>> "Test me in this and see if I don't open up heaven itself to you and pour out blessings beyond your wildest dreams."
~Malachi 3:10
God~ I believe that you, the great God of the Universe who began a good work in me so very long ago will carry it out to completion!
Lord, I'm restless... for You! For your perfect will to be carried out to refine my passions and reshape my purpose for Eternal rewards. I'm ready to let you move it from my head... to my heart... to my feet!!
I'm Ready... my heart is Set on You... Let's Go!!
@men
