*Dandelion Manifesto*

Light dances with a dandelion warmed by the setting sun as it's backdrop, that's reason to Celebrate all that's right with the world!

 Last night as I was attempting to capture a picture of the blue moon from my western Nebraska vantage point, I glanced down and noticed this beautiful symphony of color emerging between the earth below and the sky above. It was then that I realized again, why it's so rewarding to veer off the beaten path 
and march to the Quirky beat of our own drum! 
Dandelions hold a very special significance in my heart and mind. Here's why...
This is my philosophy:

Wisdom from a Dandelion:
Dandelions are the most misunderstood flower on earth!

With sunny bright blooms that can make any mama's day "all better", particularly when they magically appear in bouquet-form from behind the back of a grinning 2 year old who unapologetically asks, "Mommy...will you marry me?"

nutritiously healthy,  filigree leaves 
outstretch  & extended far beyond their center point, keeping them balanced and sturdy. 

Dandelions represent the epitome of personal growth. They have no regard for unnecessary coddling & primping.
They transform through the seasons without whining 
& they welcome adversity. Their wide, hearty filigree leaves outstretched to keep them balanced and steady.

Dandelions' sturdy stems help them stand tall when the winds of change blow and they have a hearty growing season that lasts, and lasts, and lasts.

Dandelions very seldom complain... about us. :)

They bloom right-smack-dab in the middle of 
wherever God plants them.

Their sun-shiny  disposition always promises to brighten even the lushest, darkest green lawn!
They have roots that go down deep and keep them steady and secure even through life's most ferocious storms.

There's a magic about dandelions, that can not be replicated. Their transformation from their own cozy chrysalis,  into bright yellow quiet polite blooms into the most incredible explosion of delicate, magical soaring seeds.


Although not fully understood... Dandelions are
Magically Wonderful!
*Awe inspiring poofs of Wonder*
*Hopeful couriers of Wishes*

*Whispers of Unspoken Dreams breathed gently out...

 ...swept up by the winds of Hope*

*Falling softly into the lap of God* 

              @ng...

Check out this incredible site: 

Celebrate What's Right with the World

Come Join the Celebration at facebook.com/celebratewhatsright.

‪#‎GodisintheSmallStuff ‪#‎dancingwithdandelions‪#‎celebratewhatsrightwiththeworld ‪#‎krazydandelionphotagery‪#‎marchingtothebeatofadifferentdurm

The sun's come out to play as the ensuing night celebrates the day ~the radiance of day blends with the stillness of night & together they create an incredible confetti celebration of life and light! ~

@ngie Shaw

Come Join the Celebration at facebook.com/celebratewhatsright

**Kleenex Alert** I wanted to share this throwback blog-post from October 2, 2010 as my dad & mom stepped into the ring with cancer...

**Kleenex Alert**  I wanted to share this throwback blog-post from October 2, 2010 as my dad & mom stepped into the ring with cancer...

Three Good Things...

When I saw this video this morning,I cried... and I cried... and I cried.  ****tissue alert*****

This has been quite an emotional week for me. Not a day has gone by that I haven't journaled in my mind. But I'm also journaling in my heart. On Tuesday, I sent my dad and mom off to Denver, without me, to step into the starting blocks of dad's long awaited transplant. While I sat there with them at their dining room table, I was flooded with all the emotions again, of the past 10 months. I could see in each of their eyes, the heaviness of their hearts. In each note that I took, detailing my list of things to look after while they're gone, in each phone number that I wrote down "Just in case"... I felt a certain sadness. A certain grieving. A certain... uncertainty about the days and weeks to come. 

When I hugged they good-bye for the last time in who-knows-how-long... my arms didn't want to let go. Somehow, just knowing that the next time I see them both, our grasp will be tighter...  although our hearts may be weaker... it broke my heart inside.
My dad received a phone call as we were sitting a the table... my dad listened quietly as the caller was complaining about their job and particularly complaining about how bad their day was... my dad gently spoke these words... "How about we trade places? I'll come live in your shoes... and" & then my dad'swords stopped. 

Obviously, the caller on the other end fo the phone wasn't "getting it". Quite possibly, they were being self-centered, scared-to-death, even to the point of insensitive in the midst of the realization that cancer was threatening to shorten my dad's life.

My dad's eyes looked sad, yet peaceful. After a brief period of listening to the caller on the other end ramble and complain, dad said, "I'll tell you what. Here's what I need you to do... from now on, I want you to find 3 Good Things in every day, and every time you call, I want you to tell me 3 Good Things. I need to that from you."

The caller on the other end, must've responded with an, "I just can't."
Dad calmly replied, "Yes you can... I need you to. Just look for the good... for me."

So here i sit, wondering how on earth can I be so joyful, yet so RAGING MAD at the same time towards this person who has NO CLUE how to empathize with a man who is battling cancer, who is about to lay it all on the line and risk his own life, so that he might live and beat this bully called cancer.

On the way home on Tuesday night, I cried... and I cried... and I cried. I hate when I get like that-- feeling as if my dad's going to die and the depths of my heart feel ripped to shreds. But I suppose that it's all a part of the grieving process when one goes through something so traumatic as a transplant of any type. Letting go of all of those tears, felt healing, yet so much uncertaintly lingers in my heart of hearts. Perhaps, this is the first day of My 100 days. When I find myself in the blank space document of 100 Days of Me. Where I pour out my heart, my tears, my frustrations, and my prayers to God.

Monday is Race Day. In two days, they will begin the intense chemo treatments. In two days, my dad will begin to know what it is to rest completely and fully in the Lord. In two days, our world will change. And in the next 100 days that follow... we're expecting a miracle from the Lord. 

I know, that God may choose differently than our selfish requests and yearnings. I know that even if God has a different path for my dad's life... HE WINS!

Love lives here... in my heart. And my love will somehow help me to let go of my grip~of my need to know~ of my desire to figure everything out~ and I know in my heart that LOVE will WIN!  Love Lives on Forever~ no matter where we end up. Love prevails, no matter how the "plan" plays out.

Perhaps the next 100 Days are my chance to Testify to Love. *by Avalon

With every breath I take,
I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will Testify to Love.

More to come...

Written on my Heart...

Written on my Heart...

   

The theme of the week seems to be the importance of finishing what I've started. And that my good intentions are spoiled-rotten-brats that seriously need a time out! In fact... I love to write, but I don't make time in my helter-skelter life to write on a regular basis. Here's proof from my blogpost from September 25, 2010:

True Confession:

    I'm not exactly a rocket scientist at doing anything on a regular basis for myself.I have good intentions, but I always wimp out when it comes to juggling life, home, school, emotions, cancer, responsibilities, friendships, eating, and sleeping.  I tend to do the "convenient" and the "important" things first, and then I let the rest slip. Of course I must eat and sleep... (in fact, I NEVER forget to fit those things in!) Next comes responsibilities, which I let dictate, too often, what eats up my time and what I let slide. After awhile, the slip-sliding of responsibilities tends to weigh me down and then I end up going "overtime" on the responsibility scale. One thing I know for sure...I've been working too late. That's my main "Focus Goal" for this coming week. That I might consciously WALK OUT THE DOOR before 4:30pm each night this week.

   I realized several things about myself this past week. Even though I haven't chronicled my thoughts on a daily basis, I've been churning thoughts and ideas about myself in my heart and mind. It's been a very good thing for me, to begin thinking about internally motivating thoughts, feeling, and random ideas. It's like my internal "journal pages" have been opened back up and my mental and emotional "pen" has been at work, jotting things down.

   Every time I felt like perhaps I should sit down and just dump these thoughts, feelings and ideas down... I, instead, sat down. It seems that I run, run, run, all day long. When I finally make it home to stop... I do just that. I stop. Someone said to me, "Gosh, I NEV-VER SEE YOU anymore!" And to that I replied, "Honestly... if you're not on Survivor, Biggest Loser, or Dancing with the Stars... you don't see me!" Those are the only things that I do on a regular basis and I'm committed to do. There are several reasons for this. First and foremost, it's because that's where and when I connect with my hubby. 

Quite honestly... I do believe that we have become the Awchie and Edith Bunkah (Like my BAWWWW-STON accent?) of our own living room!

   I loved those old shows! I guess I find peacefulness in my own recliner. I'm an Armchair Princess and my Prince Charming, Steve sits adjacent to my throne, in the throne right beside mine!

   There are lots of things that I used to do that I miss. It first was brought to my attention last Sunday, when the sermon message brought up the concept of FELLOWSHIP and how, as Christians, we must be in fellowship both with God, personally, and then outside of our relationship with the Lord, how we must strive to be in fellowship with other Christians. Before that, I hadn't realized how deeply I was missing my daily contacts with my friends in teaching. Even though we were just down the hall from each other, we always managed... somehow, to connect. Even if it was just a peek-in-the-door that sang a cheerful "Good Morrrrr-ning!!" I really miss those fellowship connections.

 In every job that I've had, since I was 16... I've worked with some real drama-doozies! You know that kind... that sort of people who, no matter how hard I tried to not let them get under my skin, they always managed to SUCK THE LIFE right out of the atmosphere. There are 1 or 2 in every establishment. And in my former school... there were several, what I refer to as TOXIC personalities. People who could not bear to see another teacher have success, or even so much as a tiny bit of unexpected recognition, or positive influences on their students. It's those "select few" that pushed me out and away from my safety net at Bayard. Then... coming to my new surroundings, I felt safe... in my own little world... responsible for myself and one other person... and nobody else bothered me. 

And I'll be the first to admit that, for the first year, it was GREAT!!

   Then, this summer, when things really began to heat up in the family dynamics department of my life... I realized that without my true-and-tried-heart-sisters... I never would've made it through. What kind of woman would allow me to drain my tears on her shoulders... day after day... and never once complained about what a big fat baby I was? A GIFT FROM GOD FRIEND~ that's for sure! I had so much drama... and emotional baggage... and inner turmoil... and she held it for me while it had a chance to drip-dry. My soggy life hung on the line of our safe friendship and the gentle winds of healing were at work in my heart. And the bond that we share is crisp and fresh. After the drippy-drama of my summer dried up... I felt that something was truly missing in my life. I find myself missing the up-close and in-person contacts of friendship. 

But that's not all I'm craving...

   I also began to realize that I haven't taken the time to commune with myself and my own thoughts and feelings. Since my dad's cancer diagnosis, I've been so wrapped up in telling HIS STORY... I've lost sight of my own story. I've been so driven to write out the events of his journey... I've somehow gotten lost on my own personal journey.

   As much as my heart so desires to be a writer... there seems to be this flashing yellow light that really makes me stop in my track, whenever people continually tell me that because of my Caring Bridge posts... I need to WRITE A BOOK! 

But seriously?? I DON'T WANT TO WRITE THIS BOOK ABOUT MY DAD HAVING CANCER.

I don't want to think, every time that I post something, that people are looking at my works, admiring my thoughts, thinking that I should do something with this talent.

   I just need my heart's words to be heard and understood. I just need my transparent life to stay see-through, to those I trust with it the most. I just want the assurance that my inner voice, no matter how hoarse, or off-key, or scratchy, or whispery it may be... is heard. Not even by people... but by God. And that 's when I realized that the thing that I valued most about myself, so many years ago, was my ability to get in touch with my inner voice and just pour out those words no matter what the venue.

The Monthly column... Apron Strings From the Heart.

The Weekly Mama's Heart column in the Gering Courier.

My kids publication work in the Kids Courier... recognized with a State Press Award, and then tucked inside some drawer in a big binder full of my other published writings.

My one and only contact with a book publisher never resulted from anything.

The volumes and volumes of unfinished journals from my journey through motherhood that sit collecting dust on the shelves, serve as my own personal autobiography of my life.

   But I must remember... I am a writer... a published author. An award winning journalist. I guess I'm more like a freelance writer on sabbatical.  Which causes me to wonder... how long can one be on sabbatical until you're listed as AWOL?! :o)

   I took time off from my writing aspirations to become a teacher. December 4th of 2000, to be exact. And then I agreed to try my hand at being a librarian and look at me now~ I'm a teacher of BOOKS! I'm a keeping of volumes, and books, and pages, and chapters. This is no coincidence... this has to be a sign from God that He's got me right were He wants for me to be. Why else would I be so in love with other's work ~ when I've lost sight of my own author's purpose? Perhaps it's time for me again, to begin my own story. To reclaim my own bias. To reveal my own muse.

   If I had to organize my own mumble-jumbled top 10 list for this first week of my 100 day pilgrimage, it would read

#10. This week I've learned to hate the idea of "mechanically separated" anything.

#9. I've discovered that the thought of McDonald's in the morning makes me wanna barf.

#8. I've not frequented the donut counter of the Gering Bakery for several months.

#7. I've found that the frozen water in my water bottle thaws out too quickly in my classroom.

#6. I found a smaller 3-digit number on the scale that hasn't associated itself with me in YEARS!

#5. I am becoming my mother... and that's alright with me!

#4. I am more of a manager of my own time than I realized before.

#3. The exerciser that sits against the wall in my living room will not get up and set itself in motion.

#2. I like cooler weather. It makes me want to get up and move... so why don't I do it?

#1. I am beginning to make better eating choices. 

This idea of living with less has been penetrating my heart and mind all summer... which I know, for me, it's not humanly possible that it'll happen overnight or even over a summer. I. Am. A. Professional. Stuff-o-Maniac... and it's exhausting!!

This thought occurred to me last night... I keep buying plastic containers, to store the STUFF, that I bought at the STORE, that I need to stuff my STUFF into and STORE!!!!! *YikES! Yeah...in space that we've run out of! wink emoticon
And being a teacher even compounds my problem to epic porportions. 

**Holy rubbermade containers Batman... where in the WORLD hath all this STUFF Cometh Frometh??

Entertaining the idea of Living with Less has been much more of a spiritual journey for me than a physical one. I'm not there yet, and I won't be for awhile... but I've started on this journey and it's in-processing moment by moment. like emoticon On any given day, I find myself doing-over those same bad habits... but slowly but surely new ones are beginning to sprout.

God's Word this morning confirms that I'm on the right road...
"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind," Romans 12:2
I especially love how the New Living Translation rephrases it:
"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

If you're still with me and have a couple extra minutes to read the attached link, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

5 Life-Giving Truths from Years of Living with Less

*Have an Amazing Day! grin emoticon
@ng...

‪#‎changingthewayithink‬ ‪#‎betransformed‬ ‪#‎copycatSplat‬ ‪#‎slowLearner‬‪#‎unStuffoManiacinTraining‬

On a wonderful encouraging Facebook group that I'm blessed to be a part of,  a kindred-heart teacher asked for input on whether or not we would advise that a former student go into teaching. This is my response to that question with a few added thoughts for battle-weary teacher hearts on this final stretch 'til summer vacation for many.

I truly think that before any teacher signs and receives their contract every year, we should be required to sign a waiver, verifying that the undersigned teacher hereby attests to the fact that that they are about to willingly enter the most challenging, exciting, draining, exhausting, discouraging, REWARDING, humbling year of their Life!

Passion for teaching is a gift that's rooted deep inside of you. Those of us who have a passion for what we do , we do it not because it's easy, but rather we do what we do each day because it's a calling we can't deny. Teaching is not for the faint of heart.

For those of you who are battle weary & tired... I have traveled that washboard road for the past 10 years. One year ago I prayerfully made the decision to step away from teaching. After all the sacrifices that my family made so that I could go back to college and graduate at the age of 40 & then I went straight through and completed my masters degree 22 months later. I traded in my dream for teaching to become our school Library/Media specialist. More classes... another endorsement... more debt piled onto my mountain of college debt. But I was out of the classroom & thankfully nobody dictated how I taught, or when I taught it. I liked it in my own little world where people left me alone with 700 kids and nobody cared how or what I taught them. But I was restless and discontent. I was overwhelmed with the magnitude of responsibility with having 700 kids in grades k-5 traveling to 2 schools each week.

Immersed for 10 years in the thick of it all... I realized that I didn't love teaching anymore. My passion for teaching went AWOL. And my heart for teaching had fizzled out. I was tired. I'd lost my passion for teaching and I refused to work one day more as a luke-warm teacher. My boiling hot passion for teaching had cooled to an unacceptable level. I did what most people wish they could do but can't... I Quit Teaching. I turned in my resignation letter with confidence and walked away.

After the most relaxing extended-summer vacation of my life with no apron strings tethered to the institution of public education, I was offered a position in the public sector that on the outside appeared to be the ideal 8:00-5:00 job-- a children's Librarian in a public library! <<insert heavenly chorus of angel voices here*) Not to mention with two third LESS pay and a time clock that dictated when I could clock in and when I had to leave. But I was so okay with that, because I was so sure that although teaching was a dream I once worked hard to achieve, it was not my dream anymore. I was just days away from (stupid-- I know...) cashing in my teacher retirement, ((GASP)) cutting my HUGE losses, and starting completely over. *I'm not really an idiot, I'm convinced that I was just going through some temporary sort of "girl, you're-almost-50-midlife-big-girl-temper-tantrum.

Over the past year I have learned possibly the most important lessons in my life. The world has us convinced as teachers that we're not appreciated, or valued, or understood, or paid enough as teachers. I feel compelled to encourage you all-- that's a big fat lie. Back in the 1980's (yes, I'm, old!;) ) from the movie, High Road to China, there was a quote that has been seared on my heart and mind forever."When you lose your Dream you die." The way employees are valued in the public sector doesn't hold a candle to how teachers are valued & how our charge is held in high esteem within the system. But we're tired, battle weary & beaten down by "not proficient" standardized test scores, and not enough hours in the day, and rigorous new curriculum, & unTHiNKABLE student behaviors that mimic video games and too-much-of-YouTube we take so very personally.

No, teaching is NOT for the faint of heart. But your heart will never be as at peace anywhere else, than it is when you're in your element. Never lose sight your dream. Nobody works harder and longer and more intentional than you do. Stand strong. Hold on tight to the positive people that surround you. Even if there are only two of you... hold on tight & encourage one another. It's a proven fact that even teachers need a 5:1 ratio, hearing 5 positives to every negative each day. Give one another 5! grin emoticon

I am living proof that quitting is so much harder than staying. Request grade change. Apply for other openings within your district. smile emoticon If that's not an option, seek a fresh new teaching assignment outside of your current building or district. smile emoticon Whatever you do, if teaching is your calling-- hold on tight!! Never let that go.

After just 3 months away from teaching, (August, September, and October of last year) all that I've worked for in my career seemed to be at a dead end. I'd successfully landed a job in a quiet peaceful place as a children't librarian. My "AHA"moment came when I found myself working a 9-5 job that from the outside seemed so ideal, on the inside it was so empty. My whole life calling & purpose was, in 5 short weeks, devalued in the hands of a young know-it-all self-proclaimed Next Greatest Generation "Millennial" department head who swore at her employees behind the scenes & and belittled & devalued their professionalism daily, (oh, and went home promptly at 3:58 pm every day.)

The happy ending of my story is, I was invited BACK to teach at my old school to fill in an unexpected vacancy and for the past 6 months I have been teaching in a different capacity as a classroom teacher and I am so humbled and blessed to say that my calling hunted me down and found me! This truly has been THE MOST challenging, exciting, draining, exhausting, discouraging, REWARDING, humbling year of my Life! But through it all, I have learned possible the most important lessons of my teaching career. No, I don't have it all together-- but together, we have it all!! *Through it all, I've learned that Teaching is like the Peace Corps... it's the Toughest Job You'll Ever Love!* Hang in there friends!! You are engaged in the most important job in the world... planting seeds, watering, & growing little hearts & lives!

@ng...

I'm gonna print this and hang it by my desk and read it every morning! 

*A Letter to the Teacher of That Kid*

 I am "That Teacher"! 
grin emoticon  & "That Kid" needs me! grin emoticon**That Kid**A Letter to the Teacher of That Kid...*A Letter to the Teacher of That Kid...**A Letter to the Teacher of That Kid**